Eyes of a Wolf
by jadedblood
Summary: After making the final wish, the well closes for good and Kagome now lives in the Feudal era, but things are not as she expected. This is not the happy ending she thought she would have, and she is not the young girl she used to be. Would anyone ever see her as just Kagome? This is not an immediate falling in love story.
1. Breaking

**Disclaimer: **_The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story._

Kagome lifted her hair from her neck, sighing heavily. Glaring at the gathering clouds in the distance, she mentally cursed the storm for taking its sweet time in lazily making its way across the land. The storm seemed to be mocking her suffering, her body sweltering in the summer's heat. Even now, in the late afternoon, the sun was unrelenting. She was never a fan of the summer months. She wiped at the sweat that had accumulated seemingly over her entire body. How she longed for her school uniform and the freedom it allowed her, not to mention how much cooler it was compared to the attire of this era.

She would never get used to the itchy fabric of her hakama as it roughly rubbed against her skin as she tended to her daily errands. Though it was perfectly acceptable to wear a simple yukata during the heated months of the year, she was a miko. After the defeat of Naraku and the well suddenly closing without remorse, she knew there would be a few things she would miss from her time. Right now, air conditioning would definitely be at the top of her list.

She fanned her neck then bent over at the waist, using a leather cord from her wrist to tie her mass of thick tresses into a quite messy bun atop her head. Her hair had grown considerably since the closing of the well, tickling the back of her calves. She often contemplated the idea of taking her blade and ridding herself of such trouble, but Inuyasha liked the length. She ceased her walking, a frown marring her face.

Inuyasha. That was another topic altogether that had grown over time.

Kagome moved her basket to the other arm and ventured further into the forest, peering back to the darkening sky. The storm was not yet close enough to cause any concern and she still had a few more medicinal items to find. It seemed that even the weather mimicked her emotions lately, the oppressing thickness in the air bearing down on her soul. Walking slowly, her eyes examining her surroundings closely, her mind began to thumb through pages of her past, memories of naivety and innocence. Events had unquestionably not played out as she predicted.

She pursed her lips, a sigh escaping as she brought fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose. She did not want to think about this right now, or ever again for that matter. She paused, a hand on a tree to steady herself.

___After her arrow had pierced Naraku's barrier, forcing its way into his personal space then into his body and thus purifying him from inside out, Kagome thought things would be different. She could still hear his screams of agony—screams of a tormented man devoured by a demon long ago—as her miko powers consumed him, destroying him completely and leaving nothing behind except the remaining half of the Shikon jewel. She had expected an explosion, a calamity of sorts, or perhaps the defeat to be more dramatic than it was. Blinking slowly, her legs had slowly caught up with her mind as she made her way to where the hanyou had stood moments before._

___She had retrieved the missing half of the gem, its aura instantly being purified at her touch and matching the other half's flawless white gleam. With the jewel whole, she wasn't sure what to expect. She had looked around smiling brightly holding the completed jewel up, but her smile faltered when she heard no cheering. This was not the outcome she had expected._

___There were heart wrenching sobs that could be heard as Sango had hugged herself tightly, her eyes focused on her brother's unmoving body. Everyone had known it was highly plausible that once Naraku was defeated, Kohaku would not return to the living. Now, it had seemed even harder to believe since there had been some form of hope, however fleeting. Miroku lay unconscious, though most of the blood that stained his clothing seemed to be from his opponents that lay slain around him._

___Kagome had watched Inuyasha from beneath her bangs. While he had mostly kept her out of danger, he was now at Kikyo's side, cradling her broken body to his chest. She turned, not being able to stomach watching her only love love another. The only slightly joyous thought she had was that Shippou was unharmed as she had told him he needed to stay with Kaede and Rin to protect them if the rest were to fail. It was the only way she could convince him not to follow her into the battle, the outcome uncertain. She had sighed, her fingers running over the smoothness of the jewel._

___She had made the wish without thinking of the outcome; her friends meant that much to her and she would sacrifice her own happiness to see smiles on their faces once again. She couldn't take this much sadness after Naraku had finally been vanquished. She had held the gem close to her body, whispered and called to it, then made her wish, wishing for everyone's happiness._

How many times had she played this scenario over in her head, thinking of the possible outcomes?

She shook her head, trying to rid her mind of the flood of memories that kept coming. It was as if the dam that she had strategically built around her memories had somehow sprung a leak and it was becoming more than she could bear. She reached for a mushroom that was growing in the crease of the tree. No, things did not turn out as she had thought.

Sango and Miroku were not married; Kohaku had been revived with the wish and so Sango and her brother had thanked her then traveled to their village in hopes of rebuilding. Miroku took the news better than expected. Kagome had expected him to plead with Sango to become his wife and bear his children, but instead he let her go. It seemed a few years from someone's life was not enough to change their ways. Changing their ways...

Kagome stopped, pressing her lips into a thin line. She did not want to think of him right now and how many times she watched him go to Kikyo's grave site, even after he promised to be by her side. She huffed, reaching down to gather a specific herb she had been looking for.

She suddenly felt a demonic aura brushing against hers, very closely. She stood up slowly, not wanting to turn around.

"Kouga."


	2. Slipping

"Kouga."

"Why are you alone?"

Kagome flinched, the harshness of his voice skimming over her skin in an unpleasant way, causing her to deepen her frown. His words sliced through what small mental barrier she had managed to create to hold herself together. That was not the response Kagome had anticipated when she had felt the ghost of an aura slide against hers, but what exactly had she expected?

She bit the inside of her cheek, attempting to get a handle on her emotions. She hadn't seen nor heard from the wolf since defeating Naraku, two years ago. She had been staring at the ground where the spider hanyou had been standing with large doe-like eyes in a catatonic state. She partly did not believe that Naraku had been annihilated, in all forms of the word, yet he had. She was the result of such an ending, though it could not have played out better if she had control over the actions. She had been the one to have broken the jewel and now, she had gathered all the pieces, save two, to make it complete again. She had almost smiled at that thought.

Kouga had crossed the battlefield to stand in front of her, breaking her focus on the bleak ground as he held out the two shards that had been in his legs, and then merely walked away. Never a word was spoken or gesture made, he just left. He hadn't even glanced down at her before he turned and walked away. She could still remember watching his form fade further and further into the forest until he was gone completely from her sight. Thinking on it now, it was strange that he did not disappear suddenly in his whirlwind of speed or grasp her hands and beg her to finally become his woman. Such a strange day it had been with even more stranger things to come.

"What?" she fumbled with her words, still caught within her inner turmoil of conflicting emotions.

"Why are you alone?" the wolf repeated his question in an agitated tone, folding his arms over his chest. Kagome mentally winced at the tone as her brain caught up with the situation, realizing she had yet to turn and face him.

"I am no longer the naïve child depending on others to protect me, Kouga," she said, trying to sound more confident than she actually was. Releasing a heavy sigh, she turned around.

"No," Kouga paused, causing her breath to catch in her throat. "No, you are not," Kouga said quietly. His voice caught in Kagome's ears then bounced off the walls of her skull. She brought her line of vision from the forest floor, traveling up his body slowly. His stance was mock casual; though he appeared relaxed, she noted that he was standing on the balls of his feet and would be ready to pounce at any given moment. She studied him for any sign of emotion that he may be feeling. Was he that anxious being around her? She paused at that thought, then gave a mental sigh. She did have the uncanny ability to attract danger.

He seemed distant, cautious. Could she blame him for being tense in her presence? She had thrown her love for Inuyasha in the wolf's face countless times and still, he had doted on her. Now, it seemed that time was gone. This was not the same Kouga she remembered, though she was not the same Kagome as she was two years ago.

"What are you—"

"Why are you not mated to the mutt?" Kouga interrupted her. Her eyes widened in shock. It was a fair question, though no one had ever been so blunt about it. It was a subject that was skirted around, no one mentioned nor touched on the subject. His words cut her, though she steeled herself to try and not show just how much. She would not shed any more tears. It had been long enough to not cry over such petty things. Right?

Lifting her eyes slowly, she froze. Cobalt met chestnut. His discerning stare pierced through her own, shattering what little resolve she had and causing an uneasy feeling to inch its way into the back of her mind.

"Wh—why does it matter?" Kagome's voice was small and sounded strange in her own ears.

"Why does it matter? Why does it matter?" Kouga growled, dropping his arms to his sides. Kagome took a step back, dropping her basket as she stumbled over an uplifted root.

"How do you know I'm not mated, Kouga?" Kagome asked. She cleared her throat, her eyes darting through the forest canopy to the storm clouds that were nearing at an alarming rate._ Even the weather mocks me_, she thought with a snort.

Kouga took a step forward.

Kagome took a step back.

Kouga frowned. "Are you afraid of me, Kagome?" he asked, a strange look appearing on his face.

"No, why should I be afraid of you? You would never hurt me," Kagome said anxiously. "Right?" Suddenly, Kouga was very close to her, standing nearly on top of her. She squeaked at the sudden invasion of her personal space and stumbled backward, falling to the forest floor. He bent down beside her, his face coming dangerously close to hers. He breathed in deeply.

"You are not mated nor have you been touched." Kouga spoke slowly. Kagome rested on her elbows, her lips parted as she stared at his face. Her brows furrowed, that uneasy feeling becoming more apparent. "It is as obvious as the sky is blue." he leaned closer to her, so close their breath mingled. "As many times as you repeat your mantra of how much you love him and how much you care, you can't just let it go," he watched her close her eyes, but continued. "Your heart may still be attached to that mutt in some way, but I bet your mind screams at you every day about the decisions you've made and why you're still here in this village, gathering herbs and helping heal the sick like the priestess you are." He stopped, standing up quickly and turned his back on her. "Just like Kikyo was."

Kagome's eyes shot open as she gasped. No one had ever spoken to her in such a way. Never had anyone been so blunt about the truth, forcing her to see what she refused to open her eyes to. She sat, biting her lip as her emotions threatened to spill over and consume her. The disquieted feeling she had felt began to slowly take over her body functions as she watched as Kouga started to walk away, once more. She had witnessed this scene before. She exhaled loudly.

"Kouga..." she began, but stopped. What was there to say to him? What did he want her to say? What did he want from her? This was not at all the Kouga she remembered. She almost would have preferred his shouting and claiming of her over this rogue of a demon she used to know. He preceded to put more and more distance between them.

Wetness. She reached a hand to her face and felt wetness. Pursing her lips, she wiped her eye. No, she wasn't crying. Looking upward, she cursed her luck as more droplets fell from the darkened sky. She stood, grabbing her basket and looked back to where she had seen Kouga last. "Kouga, wait," she called out. What was she going to say? Her mind was a jumbled mess. She would sort through that later. "Kouga!" she exclaimed louder, her voice muffled by the increasing amount of rain falling. She stretched out her aura, feeling for his. She stopped, confused. She couldn't detect him. Surely he wouldn't have left her, allowing her to wander into the middle of the forest at the beginning of a storm. Would he?

By now, her hair was a sopping bun of water heavily sagging from her head and her haori clung to her body, drenched with water. She picked her way through the brush, catching the bottom of her hakama in briars. She huffed, not in the least bit amused at how her day had gone so far. She pulled, tearing the fabric as she kept on, heading to a nearby cave she was familiar with. This was not her first thunderstorm she had been caught in, but it had been quite some time since she had last wandered into the forest, her emotions awry with no clear vision of her future.

Kouga's words had infiltrated her thoughts, causing her brain to pick apart every action that had occurred over the past two years. Should she have stayed in Kaede's village? Should she have stayed by Inuyasha's side? Was she truly replaying Kikyo's life? _Just like Kikyo..._

She stepped into the small clearing, immediately quickening her pace as she spotted the cave's entrance. It was not obvious to the untrained eye, but she had been here before. She had found this unused grotto once when she had fled from the village, fled from Inuyasha, fled from her life. She had ran blindly until she stumbled into the small glade, falling to her knees and crying as another piece of her heart broke. Finding the cavern, she had crawled to it and stayed for two days until she could steel herself and put her smile in place. Now, she used it from time to time to store herbs and such.

Nearing the entryway, she paused and searched the area with her reiki. Sensing nothing unusual, not even a particular ookami, she quickly entered and built a small fire near the front from the timber she had stored against the wall during a previous visit. Stripping from her sodden clothes and hanging them on a small rack, she shrugged on a light yukata she had chosen from a small chest at the back of the cave and sat down near the blaze. She pulled her knees close, wrapping her arms around them. This was not how she wanted her day to end, sitting in a cave away from her hut, her mind in a tangled mess of thoughts. She sighed, staring into the dancing flames. This was supposed to be another mundane day, gathering the medicinal items she was in need of, nothing special, then she would go back to her hut and meditate or sweep her already clean floor.

Her mind chose that moment to remind her of Inuyasha's reaction when he discovered that she would not return. Another sigh. She was so exhausted from having to deal with his relentless insults, degrading her and reiterating the fact that she should not be on her own because she needed him for protection. She snorted. A part of her wished he would care enough and come rushing, following her scent to the cave's mouth and whisking her away. She knew she was grasping at thin air when her thoughts focused on this topic, but he was all she had known. The men of the village dared not approach her in any way other than business, in need of healing of some sort. Inuyasha had made it clear she was off limits.

As her faced turned sour, she reached up and untied her hair from it's dripping bun. She squeezed the tendrils, the water splashing on the stone floor. She stared at the midnight tresses that rest in her hands, lost in thought. Why had she allowed her hair to grow to such lengths? Was she truly yearning for Inuyasha's attention so much as to go so far as to mimic his first love's appearance?

"You even look just like her," came a rough voice from the cave's entrance.


End file.
